Oakley’s hearing journey

Today I’m feeling a bit, let’s just say not myself. I find when I’m struggling mentally I like to write my blogs. It’s ok to admit you’re having a bad day and feel overwhelmed. The way I get through it is talking to you guys.  

I thought I would do a little update on life right now again. I’ve been so busy with work recently, studying, being a mum, and hospital appointments. Social media is my job and I’ve been very lucky with some of the opportunities that have come up this year already. I have only you guys to thank. 

Anyway today I had to take Oakley to his hearing aids fitting. My dad is currently up with me, as well as my little sister and step mum which is lovely so they came with me today. My dad dropped the kids off to school while I sorted Oaks, gave him his breakfast and his medicines because I had no nurse today. We all drove to the hospital in my car, I couldn’t even have a coffee this morning I just felt nervous and sick. Me and Jane my step mum went in with Oakley first as you can only have one other person apart from me. They put the moulds in which were made last week and plugged a wire in. This was to see how they need to set the sound. They would set off a sound in a black box on each side of Oakley to see if he would turn his head. I could feel my eyes filling up as last week he wasn’t reacting much at all.

They have said Oakley isn’t completely deaf, however with his condition the ear canals are so congested that Oakley would hear as if he was under water. So basically very, very muffled. It makes me sad to think he’s not heard me speak properly. I had to push for his test, and I said to the nurses at the hospital I felt like Oakley couldn’t hear me. The last test he had was when he was living in the hospital and they said there was congestion in the left ear. Then the test had to be repeated a few months later. When I attended Liverpool hospital in October they asked me if I had any worrys with Oakleys hearing so I also told them.

I turn a hoover on and he wouldn’t really respond. He would only look if something was in front of him but not turn his head if a nose was behind him unless it was really loud. A referral was done for another test. They said last week at the hearing test that it’s both ears that are affected. Once I told Sarah (Kaya’s mum) the results, she said to me she hasn’t seen a child with the same condition without hearing aids. So she wasn’t shocked, but also she knew how I was feeling.

At one point I honestly thought I was thinking about it too much and that Oakley’s hearing was fine? After the appointment last week I spoke with the boys nursery. I explained this was happening and Oakley needed hearing aids. I did this because I want the boys to be prepared. Siennah is completely understanding as a few of her friends have hearing aids. However the boys can be extremely loud like any 2 and 3 year olds. The hearing aids can take a lot of time to adapt to and I don’t want to scare Oakley with it being very overwhelming. I knew today I would feel emotional, for some reason I felt guilty and I don’t know why. Anyway once they re-did the test with the moulds in today Oakley was so responsive. The staff went out to program the hearing aids, and when they came back they asked me to pick a colour, so I picked blue obviously for Oakley bleu … how lush!! 

She showed me how to take the batteries out and put them back together, explained how to keep them clean and how to change the batteries once a week with a little tool. We then had to hold Oakley’s head to put them in, she said not to speak for about 6sec until they turn on properly. I actually had goosebumps. My dad then swapped with Jane and came in to the room. I hadn’t spoken until the staff said to. I  then went on and said ‘Oakley,’ he was sitting on his bum in front of me and started spinning in a circle! It was as if he was looking to see what was going on, ‘Can you hear mummy?’ He then took a deep breath and he started to cry. The staff did say most babies find it very hard to adjust at first. He started to shake his head to shake them out but they stayed in. I picked him up and cuddled him and he went silent and was shocked it was like he was taking everything in. 

I started to cry so my dad took Oakley outside and I waited for the staff to give me the spare batteries and paper work I needed. The lady was amazing and asked if I was ok, she said it was normal for me to feel a bit overwhelmed as it’s another thing to deal with and adjust to. It was a mix of emotions for me today. I feel sad for Oakley as it’s another thing for him, but I also feel grateful I trusted my instincts and was pushing for the hearing tests again. I just knew something wasn’t right. 

I am honestly so proud of all my children. I love them so much they have made me the woman I am today. I can’t always be strong and I feel sad today, and do you know what, that is ok! It’s ok to feel stressed and worried we’re only human. Us mums don’t switch off. When my kids are in bed I’m then worrying about what I need to do for the next day. I worry about whether I’ve given them enough attention, and done everything they needed. Are they feeling happy? Have they eaten enough fruit and veg today? Have I nagged too much at dinner time? When you worry about things like that you know you’re a good mum. 

I took a video of today with Oakley but I haven’t posted it on social media, I feel like I want to give you guys my all and show you my exclusive feelings and photos that go on in my life.

More Like This


Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *