As an Instagram influencer, having an inbox full of messages is nothing new. Yet, while many are positive and supportive, there’s a darker side to the DMs. You guessed it: sleazy messages from men. I’m talking about comments on your appearance, inappropriate “flirting,” and disrespectful remarks. And I’m no exception—I bet all women know the creepy kinda messages I’m talking about.
I’m used to getting these messages. You know, “you’re so fit” and “milf” – the standard. I usually have filters in place to stop them from going into my inbox. So, imagine my surprise when I receive a notification from an account of a blue-tick guy, a familiar face from a popular UK reality TV show. Here’s a man with a verified account, a public figure with a wife and three kids. I caught myself frowning. Weird, what does he want? I thought. Parenting advice? I opened up the chat…
At first, it seemed innocent enough. He was responding to my stories with emojis or short comments. I thought it was a bit weird, but I brushed it aside, thinking maybe he was just being friendly or trying to engage with other influencers. But then it kept happening and happening. Every time I posted a story, there he was, reacting with 😍 or 🔥emojis, trying to strike up a convo.
And it didn’t stop there. Soon enough, his messages started to become more and more frequent. How do I respond? Simple: I delete the message thread and remove him as a follower. I firmly believe in shutting down this behaviour, not entertaining it. It doesn’t matter if you’re a TV personality or your average northern tradie. It’s the same response: I don’t engage. I don’t even like the message. I simply delete them and move on.
But this man’s persistence was crazy girls! Despite the fact I hadn’t replied once, he’d continued to blow up my inbox. It was clear that he had no respect for me or for HIS WIFE. And the thing that really really bothered me?? This guy wasn’t even trying to be subtle. You might expect this shady behaviour from someone hiding behind a fake profile but not from someone who’s verified.
This guy is openly – at least in my eyes — cheating. The whole world has seen you on TV and knows you’re married with a family. Erm, are you alright? To be honest, his behaviour on the reality show didn’t exactly paint him like a gentleman… But still!
Sadly, he’s one of many men doing the same thing. So many of the creepy guys trying to slide into my DMs have families. They have pictures of their partner and children all over their Instagram pages, yet they still feel entitled to send sleazy messages. And if their profiles are private, you can bet their profile pic is of them and their partner.
That’s the biggest problem—these men clearly don’t even see messaging women as an issue! If they did, wouldn’t they make it less obvious? Either that, or they’re totally oblivious to the harm they’re causing. I mean, just take a peek at these creepy messages in my inbox from the past few days alone from guys who are clearly in relationships…
And let’s be honest, these men are not only messaging me – they’re likely sending similar messages to countless other women. It’s a behaviour that I simply cannot wrap my head around. If you’re committed to a partner, why risk that for a bit of attention?
I’m not going to start replying to these weird DMs, but here is some food for thought, “gentlemen” (read: creeps): If you’re in a relationship, do you really think a woman with strong morals will entertain you flirting with her? If we can even call it flirting! The reality is that the only women replying are just craving attention. So, before you hit send, pause for just a sec. Respect your partner, respect other women online, and respect yourself.
In fact, call me controversial, but I don’t even think you should be liking other people’s photos if you’re in a relationship. Liking a friend’s photos, no problem. But there’s a fine line when interacting with strangers online. Of course, it does depend on the content. Someone having dinner with their Nan? Sure, that’s an acceptable like. But liking topless photos or suggestive pics? That’s just opening up a pathway for inappropriate conversations.
In the end, it’s all about respect – for yourself and for others. If you’re in a relationship, set clear boundaries offline AND offline. And if you’re single and looking to connect with someone on social media, ditch the pickup lines and empty compliments and try genuine conversation instead. Trust me, it goes a long way.
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