We’ve had so many assessments with Oakley, from the sensory tests with the OT, where they asked me all these questions about Oakley’s vision, his hearing, how he reacts to lights, textures, even everyday things like the vacuum or washing machine. They rated everything from moderate to very frequent, and I felt myself trying to make sense of all those behaviors I’ve seen for so long. And then there were the stay-and-play sessions with the speech and language specialist. I remember watching Oakley, seeing how they observed him, and feeling this deep, quiet ache inside because I knew. I knew this diagnosis was coming.

Oakley was officially diagnosed with autism, and I felt this strange mix of emotions, ones that I’d been carrying for months but had never fully let myself explore until this moment. It wasn’t a surprise, but hearing it from the community nurse, pediatric consultants, occupational therapists, and speech and language specialists—it knocked the wind out of me.